Yellow Diamonds: A Pokémon Adventure
by Jynxed1
Summary: Join the gay sociopath Xylark in his harrowing adventure across the Seksi Region. Will he be able to conquer the league with his brand-new Angel-type Pokémon, or will he succumb to the many perils he'll meet along the way? No one knows.
1. Xylark and Rianna!

**It starts...**

"Wake up! It's time for school!" Mom screamed at me from behind my bedroom door.

"What? School?" I thought loudly.

"Yes!" Mom shrieked while teleporting into the room. I couldn't believe my ears or eyes. I had been waiting my whole life to start my Pokémon adventure; there was no way I was going to go to school now.

"Just kidding, lol!" Mom laughed as she slithered onto the bed. "Time to go to Professor Bushtree's lab to get your very first Pokémon!"

"OMG, you bitch!" I thought sassily. I shoved her onto the floor, walked over her body, and started to get ready. I looked in the mirror and began putting moisturizer all over my boyish face. My hair is dark brown just like Harry Styles (but way hotter), and it has sunny blonde highlights like Justin Bieber. My eyes shine sparkly gold like one of those chocolate coins with the gold wrappers. My skin is tan almost like I'm Spanish, but I'm not because I'm white. I look really sexy and my moisturizer has a lot of subtle glitter in it, so I always sparkle. Also, I'm gay, which means I'm sensitive and more intelligent than most boys. One time I had an IQ test, and the doctor said I scored higher than any other person he had ever met, and he said he had met some smart people like Einstein.

Most importantly, though, is my name: Xylark. It's pronounced like "Skylark" but not. Today is my 14th birthday, and I'm ready to finally get my first Pokémon.

After I finished my moisturizing treatment, I got dressed in my cute, black skinny jeans, gray One Direction t-shirt with red letters (and a big X through Zayn's stupid face), black leather vest, and cute dress shoes because I don't like to look sloppy. I'm gay, remember? Anyway, I hustled by bustle out the door and sauntered down to the lab. When I got there, however, what I saw shocked me so bad I almost did a death drop.

"Where are all the Pokémon?" I asked sadly, pointing to area of the lab where no Pokémon were.

"They're already gone because you're late, Xylark!" Professor Bushtree replied meanly. "Maybe if you didn't spend so much time trying to look so attractive in your designer clothes and expensive makeup, you would've been able to get a Pokémon."

I sighed, visibly enraged. Like it was my fault it was so late? I can't control time—I'm not a time magician.

"But I do have one Pokémon left, and I think it's perfect for you!" the professor said encouragingly after he saw how visibly enraged I was. He pulled out a Poké Ball from his fake Prada manbag—how embarrassing!—and placed it on the table. It opened to reveal a Pokémon that I had never seen before.

It was all white and shaped kind of like a mixture between a kitty and a chinchilla (whatever they are since there aren't any animals in the Pokémon world), but it had two small pink wings and what appeared to be gold hoop earrings in its ears. It had two huge eyes that opened seductively to reveal eyes that looked like they were filled with golden glitter. It let out a little meow sound that sounded like it was saying, "Rihanna."

"This is the Pokémon Rianna," Professor Bushtree said, "Like the singer, but it's spelled differently and this Pokémon actually has talent." I had to restrain myself from hitting him in that moment. "Rianna is a new type of Pokémon we just discovered called the Angel type. They are very special because they can't be hurt by things like Grass, Water, Fire, Poison, Fighting, Ground, Rock, Steel, Bug, Ice, Normal, Electric, Fairy, and Flying. They can only be hurt by Ghost, Psychic, Dragon, and most of all by Dark, which they are weak to but very strong against. It's perfect for your starter!"

"I love her—she's even cuter than the real Rihanna!" I squirted. Right then Rianna jumped into my arms and said she didn't want to be in the Poké Ball ever again, so I carried her out of the lab without saying good-bye to Professor Treebush or whatever his lame-ass name was. We headed down the path out of town, singing and brushing each other's hair. I couldn't wait to finally begin my journey to become the best Pokémon master that the Seksi Region had ever seen!


	2. Tulipia and Buneary!

"You are so cute, Rianna," I said cutely to my new Pokéfriend and started to sing the hit single 'We Found Love' by the other Rihanna. My Rianna seemed to love the song and even started to do a little dance. We both began giggling and whipping our hair around in glee. Our joy was quickly cut short, though, when we heard a scary noise.

"What's that?" I asked questioningly. Rianna hid behind my hair in fear. Suddenly a wild Buneary jumped out and attacked.

"GO, RIANNA!" I yelled and commanded, "Use Angel Kick!" Rianna jumped up like a bird, extended one leg down, and flew like a heavenly arrow toward Buneary. BAM! One hit from that and Buneary was on the ground, passed out.

"Good job, Rianna. Let's catch it!" I reached for my Poké Ball, but before I could throw it, an ugly voice started screeching.

"NO! BUNEARY!" it squawked.

I looked up to see a girl who was dressed really cute and edgy in a pink tee with gold stripes on it, a distressed leather miniskirt, bright teal leggings, and cute black ballet flats. Her outfit was on-point.

"OMG, was that your Buneary? I'm sorry—it attacked us!" I lied cunningly.

"It's okay. She ran away, and sometimes she gets nervous and attacks. My name is Tulipia," the ethnic-looking girl said mysteriously.

Tulipia and I talked for a long time as Rianna and Buneary played hide-and-seek. I asked her what ethnicity she was, but she said she couldn't remember because she was adopted. I told her I was white, but she said she could already tell on account of my white skin. We laughed and laughed for quite a while.

"I can't sit here and laugh forever," she said seriously.

"Why, girl," I said with a wink, trying to sound as sassy as humanly possible.

"I'm on the run," she whispered juicily.

"What?" I asked even though I heard her. By asking that I meant it more as a symbol of disbelief, but she didn't catch that.

"I said I was on the run," she repeated. I sighed.

"From the police?" I asked.

"That's racist," she responded. "But yes, from the police. I didn't do anything, though. I was framed!"

"Why are they after you?" I aksed.

She was silent and looked like she had a secret, but I thought she was just being rude.

"Whatever, then, bitch," I said, walking away.

"Wait! Let's go together. I'd feel much safer with a strong man like you around." She blinked her eyes rapidly toward me.

"Girl, I'm gay," I said.

"Even better! I've always wanted a token gay friend!" She squealed.

"And I've always wanted a token ambiguously ethnic friend!" I replied sincerely. We were the perfect stereotypical match. "What should we do first?"

"Well, if we're going to be trainers, we should at least get badges," she said smartly.

"I know," I replied, but I was scared of getting badges because I didn't want Rianna to get hurt.

"The first badge is in the next town. The leader's name is Bacardi. He's super hot, and I think he's bi," she said with a wink.

I blushed, "OK, but let's go practice battling in the forest first. I'm sure there will be lots of trainers there."

"All right! Let's go!" we said together, running excitedly into the woods with Rianna and Buneary close behind.


	3. Divann and Golett!

"OMG This forest is kinda creepy," Tulipia squirmed, her long jet black hair with a single green streak flipping and flowing around in the misty breeze, "I hope there aren't any bird Pokémon. I'm afraid of those." Almost like it heard her, a Noctowl swooped down right at her head.

"EEEEEEK!" she screamed. Right then Buneary jumped in front of her and performed a Thunder Punch bigger than I had ever seen. Sparks flew in all directions from Noctowl's bludgeoned body as he lay there paralyzed. "You saved me, Buneary!" Tulipia smiled, and Buneary chirped back and kissed her.

"You two are so cute!" I said. Rianna got jealous and tried to give me a kiss like Buneary had done to Tulipia, but her hoop earring accidentally got caught in my hair and it ripped some out. "Oww, Rianna! Stop being stupid!" Rianna apologized, but I could tell something was wrong. We continued on in the forest, seeing many cool Pokémon, but I didn't want to catch any of them—Rianna was the only Pokémon I needed.

"Are you trainers?" a boy with a really ugly hat and tattered clothes screamed while running up to us. "My name's Divann!" His face was cute like Drake from Drake and Josh, but his clothes needed a serious makeover.

"Hi, I'm Tulipia, and this is Buneary, Xylark, and Rianna," Tulipia said sweetly.

"Hi," I blushed. Despite his whack-ass outfit I was smitten with Divann for some reason, but I tried to hide it.

"Wow, a Rianna! I've only ever heard of them in fairy tales! Can I pet her?" he asked as he reached out his hand toward Rianna. She mewed and jumped up and sat on Divann's dirty cap, glaring at me seductively and trying to make me jealous. I knew what she was doing, though, so I played it cool.

"Wow she really likes you!" I ejected.

"Yeah, but it's too bad I'm gonna have to beat you guys now! Let's battle!" Divann said suddenly.

"All right, I'm first!" roared Tulipia. Buneary took a fighting stance in front of her.

"Go, Golett!" Divann shouted. I was shocked! I had never seen a Golett before. It was kinda ugly but kinda cute at the same time just like Divann, and it was pretty manly. "Use Mud-slap!" Golett jumped on the ground as mud spewed all up in Buneary's eyes.

"Rub it out, Buneary, and fire back with a Fake Out!" Buneary's image doubled as it ran for Golett, but the attack didn't seem to do anything. "What happened?" Tulipia queried.

"Golett is part Ghost, obviously," Divann snarked back. Wow he was so smart. "Now, finish it off with a DynamicPunch!"

"No!" Tulipia screamed as Buneary's head was nearly knocked off. She ran over to her dead Pokéfriend and hugged her.

"Now it's your turn, Skylark," Divann said.

"It's pronounced Xylark," I said, rolling my eyes forcefully around in my head. "GO RIANNA!" Rianna jumped up and began to battle. Golett threw Ice Punches, Dynamic Punches, Earthquakes, and Rock Edges, but nothing hurt Rianna as she used Calm Mind over and over.

"Why isn't anything working!" Divann screamed in frustration.

"She's an Angel type," I giggled, "She's only weak to Dark types and only even hurt by Psychic, Ghost, and Dragon."

"Well, in that case: Golett, use Faint Attack!" Golett fell to the ground, appearing to be passed out, but then he disappeared suddenly and reappeared behind Rianna, smacking her to the floor.

"No, Rianna!" I cried as tears began to stream down my face. Rianna panted, bruised all over, but stood up defiantly. "OK, Rianna, use Heaven Beam!" I shrieked.

The sky burst open and a ray of light smashed down onto Golett's head, crushing him into the earth. He fainted.

"No! How could I lose?" Divann cried.

"Don't be sad," I said comfortingly. "You just need to train more. Hey, how about you come with us?"

"That's a great idea!" Tulipia said enthusiastically. For once I agreed with her, I thought, and plus maybe we could do a serious fashion makeover and get him looking hot.

"But first, let's go to the Poké Center and get healed up!" So we headed to the Poké Center in Minaj Town, home of the fearsome first gym leader Bacardi. Little did we know what awaited us there.


	4. Concert at the Beach!

"There it is! Minaj Town!" screamed Tulipia. We all stopped in awe as colorful towers glittering in the sun grew in front of us.

"Wow!" Divann and I said together, and we both looked at each other and giggled. I noticed Rianna rolling her eyes, but I pretended like I didn't.

"Do they have a mall here? I feel like shopping!" I asked.

"Shopping?" Divann queried quizzily, "Aren't we supposed to be training? I hate shopping." OMG, I couldn't believe he said that. This time it wasn't Rianna rolling her eyes—it was me! He could be fixed, though, I thought.

"Fine, we'll go shopping after we train. I hear there's a beach on the other side of the town with a small trainer tournament going on. Let's head there," I suggested, and Buneary and Golett nodded in agreement. I could tell Rianna wanted to shop like me, but we would have to wait.

When we arrived at the beach, I gasped at how beautiful it was. So many people were there with Pokémon, and it looked like a big concert was going on.

"I wonder who's playing," I asked out loud.

"Look! It's Adam Lambert! I didn't know he was in town today!" Tulipia screamed.

"I love him!" I ejected. Divann looked sadly at the ground and kicked it with his feet. He looked dejected. I wondered if he was jealous.

"Why do you like him so much? He's not that great," Divann mumbled.

"Well, he's a good singer. Plus, I like his outfits." I said, staring at Divann's wrinkled Wal-Mart tee.

"Oh…" Divann trailed off.

Once the concert was over, Adam asked if there were any trainers in the audience. Of course, I raised my hand first, and he told me to come up and battle him.

"If you win this battle, Bacardi told me that you could challenge him at the Gym," he said sexily with his black eyeliner and fashionable hair. I couldn't believe my luck. Just an hour ago we were in a forest training, and now here I was meeting a famous person with the chance to battle for a badge! My luck was finally turning around.

"OK, let's do it!" I said suggestively, "Go, Rianna!" She jumped out like a cat from behind my hair and let out a huge meow to Adam.

"Go, Staravia!" he said, and Staravia came out of his Poké Ball, except his hair was different since it had been styled like Adam's.

"Cool!" I cooed and swooned a little. I noticed Divann starting to cry in the audience, but I couldn't think about that right now.

"You might think your Rianna will do well against Staravia since it's a Flying type, but I know how to hurt it. Staravia, use Dragon Rush!" The intimidating bird flew quickly and stealthily towards Rianna, but Rianna jumped out of the way just in time and countered with a Holy Scratch attack, slicing off Staravia's hair.

"You've messed up this time!" Adam screamed as Staravia continued using Dragon Rush, faster and faster, until Rianna was nearly knocked out.

"I believe in you, Rianna! Use Recover and then strike back with a Thunderbolt!" I shouted. Clouds formed overhead as a bolt of lightning from Rianna's head paralyzed Staravia's wings, causing it to crash into the floor, cracking its beak.

"No, Staravia!" Adam cried. "You win this time. I'll call Bacardi and tell him to open his gym for you."

"Thanks, Adam. Hey do you want to talk backstage?" I asked shyly.

"I have to get Staravia to the Poké Center now, but here is my phone number," Adam said as he picked up his fainted bird and winked. "Call me sometime."

I couldn't do anything but giggle and blush. When I met up with Tulipia and Divann they hugged me and congratulated me, but I could see something was wrong with Divann. I didn't care enough about him to ask.

"Well you heard the man," Tulipia said, "Let's go get Bacardi!"


	5. Fashion Emergency!

I couldn't stop wondering if something was bothering Divann as I walked beside him, watching him cry. We approached the mall, and I got the greatest idea.

"Retail therapy!" I screamed in his ear.

"What?" he asked, wincing in pain.

"Retail therapy!" I repeated loudly again, "It's when you buy things because you're sad, and then you feel better!" Rianna looked pleased at this idea since it was clear the whole time she wanted to buy new earrings.

"That's actually a good idea, Xylark," Tulipia moaned, "I want to get Buneary a big hat." Buneary clapped like a rabbit and sat up on its front legs, grinning.

"It's settled, then! Let's go!" We all cheered, even Golett who seemed to have about as much fashion sense as Divann. When we entered the mall, we were all amazed by how many cute shops there were. Finally, we found some cute boy clothes that would be perfect for Divann.

"You'll love this store. It's called Unovan Braviary, and it has everything that you could ever want," I said provocatively.

"I don't know, guys, I like my own clothes," Divann lamented sadly. Rianna, Tulipia, and I all shared glances and rolled our eyes at how stupid Divann was being, but he was cute so we let it go.

After searching a while, we found some cute choices for Divann and had him try them on. When he came out of the dressing room we were all floored. My jaw literally dropped off my face and spiraled into the depths of eternal darkness. Divann was standing there in cute blue and brown shoes, tight jeans, a red and black flannel-esque shirt with metallic buttons, and a Burberry scarf. He was wearing those black-framed glasses that are really fashionable right now, and his hair swept erotically into the air without his junky hat on.

"Wow, girl," I squealed, "You look fierce!" Divann started blushing and kicking the ground with his feet. Maybe there was a chance for us after all.

Buneary clapped and said, "Bun bun, eary," which meant she was happy. Even Rianna did a little dance to celebrate the occasion.

As we were leaving, I couldn't stop thinking about how hot Divann looked now. Even Golett was hot with his new fedora hat and spiky belt. I saw Rianna giving him glances, but I didn't want to embarrass her by pointing it out.

"You know, you were right, Xylark. I do feel much better now! I think I'm ready to take on Bacardi with you!" Divann squirted.

"Awesome!" I replied, "And what about you, Tulipia? Are you ready?"

"You know it! Buneary, what about you?" Tulipia queried.

"Let's go!" she cheered in her new purple hat.

The gym loomed ahead...


	6. Party at the Minaj Town Gym and Club!

As soon as we saw the nondescript, glittery, deep-purple, two-story building with gold lights streaming all across forming the words Minaj Town Gym and Nightclub, we knew we had found the gym.

Tulipia was all like, "OMG it's a club too!" We both screamed because we loved clubs and I was used to drinking lots of alcohol because I liked to party. I noticed Divann looked nervous, and I thought that he probably had never been to a club before like I had.

"This club looks okay, but this one time I went to a club that had like 5000 people in it, and Rihanna performed and said I was the cutest person there," I said coolly. Rianna perked up at her name, but I said, "No, Rianna, not you. The other one who sings." She got sad and started to cry.

"I wish I could be cool like you, Xylark!" Tulipia and Divann said in unison, and I blushed and felt bad for them because they were sad.

"LOL, let's go fight Bacardi!" I said comfortingly.

As soon as we walked into the gym, we saw hundreds of people dancing. Lights were going on and off in different colors, and there was a DJ playing dance music like "Everytime We Touch" by Cascada. Buneary, Golett, and Rianna's eyes grew big upon seeing this, and they ran out to the middle of the floor and began doing a cute little choreographed dance.

"Let's get crunk," I reported, dragging Tulipia and Divann to the bar.

"Three cosmopolitans, please," I ordered because that's my favorite drink like SJP in Sex and the City.

The bartender replied sexily, "It's on the house," with a wink at me. He was about 6'2" and tan with blonde hair and blue eyes and big muscles. He was wearing a sexy tight black shirt and tight skinny jeans and expensive black Gucci shoes with sparkling argyle socks and a diamond toe ring.

"Thanks," I said and winked back flirtatiously. I noticed Divann starting to cry again. "What is wrong with him?" I thought to myself.

As we were dancing and drinking, I saw this really hot guy with neon blue spiky hair, a beige Armani suit with a red vest and glittery tie. I went up and introduced myself, "Hi, I'm Xylark. Who are you?" He looked at me in shock.

"Xylark? I'm Bacardi! Adam Lambert told me you'd be coming. When do you want to earn your first gym badge?" He snorted.

I giggled seductively and said, "After we dance," and then we danced to a dance remix of "Hello" by Adele. After it was over we were both sweaty but drunk and smiling.

He said loudly to everyone, "Okay, everyone, the club is closed! I have a battle!" Everyone clapped because they saw me and remembered me from the concert. They all left except for Tulipia, Buneary, Rianna, Divann, and Golett.

"I hope you have three Pokémon," Bacardi pontificated.

"Ri, ri anna na?" Rianna questioned nervously.

"Why do I need three Pokémon? I only have Rianna, Tulipia only has Buneary, and Divann only has Golett," I stated.

"Well, I only do triple battles here!" he shrieked, "But if you three have three Pokémon between the three of you, then you can battle me as a team, and if you win, you all get a badge!"

"Eeee! Cool!" Tulipia squealed, and Buneary did a little dance and jumped on its feet like a rabbit.

"All right, then: let's get started!" I screamed as we stepped into the arena.


	7. Bacardi and the Flaming Badge!

I stood in the middle of the arena with Tulipia on my left and Divann on my right.

"You look scared," I giggled sexily to Bacardi's face.

"Hardly," he squirted as he threw out three Pokéballs at once. "Go Litwick, Charmeleon, and Houndour!" Litwick flicked in front of Buneary, Houndour positioned itself in front of Golett, and Charmeleon asserted itself in front of my cute Rianna.

"Litwick, Charmeleon, and Houndour, use Flame Burst!" Bacardi screamed seductively.

Charmeleon sent its flames toward Rianna, but they didn't do anything to her, although the secondary flames hit Golett and Buneary.

"Buneary use Fire Punch!" squeaked Tulipia as Buneary stuck its fiery fist into Litwick's body. The flame disappeared, but suddenly Litwick's body grew to large proportions like when you put air in a balloon and make it bigger by blowing into it like a balloon.

As soon as Litwick bulked up, Bacardi shouted, "Use Mirror Coat, Litwick!" and it knocked out Buneary in one hit.

"Oh, no!" Tulipia quetzacoatled, but it was too late. Buneary was knocked out.

"Forget Litwick, Golett. Just get Houndour!" Divann shooted. Suddenly Golett used Earthquake, which was extremely super-effective against Houndour, who was part Fire, but little did he notice that the aforementioned Houndour was riding on an Air Balloon.

"Ha, the Earthquake can't hit him with the balloon!" Bacardi laughed super annoyingly. "Houndour, use Dark Pulse!" he screamed at the top of his lungs. A dark pulse grew in Houndour's mouth then suddenly it shot into Golett's face, at which point it exploded, killing Golett.

"No, that's mean!" Divann said, but Golett was dead so no one listened.

"It's okay, losers. I got this!" I said confidently since none of my Pokémon were dead. "Rianna use Dual Angel Wing Slash!" I screamed, and Rianna attacked both Houndour and Litwick, hitting them super-effectively with Angel-type moves and OHKOing them.

"You might have gotten my two weak Pokémon, but there's no way you can beat Charmeleon. Use Hidden Power Psychic, Charmeleon!" he screamed.

The move hit Rianna and knocked her to the ground, but all of a sudden she got up and stood directly in front of Charmeleon, glaring. I knew what to do.

"Rianna, use a mixture of Bubblebeam and Rock Slide!" I screamed and she did and killed Charmeleon.

"Oh my!" Bacardi cried, "My Charmeleon is dead instead of fainted. You are truly a good Pokémon trainer, and you all deserve this badge. Here you go!" he said sadly but seductively while winking at me a lot.

"Score!" I squalled, "We got the Flaming Badge!"

"Yay" the other people who I was with said. They were cute, but it was funny that they couldn't have won without me.

"I'm going to call the next gym and tell them you're coming," Bacardi said, "You are the best trainer I ever seen. And you are really cute and sexy too." I lol'd and then we left the gym.

"Xylark, I hope we can battle as good as you soon," Tulipia said, and I just nodded at her. It was time to leave and go to the next town, so I couldn't deal with her delusions at the moment.

"Hey, wait a minute. What's that?" Divann quizzically queried while pointing at a large ugly bag thing in the sky.


	8. The Trouble with Team Police!

The big ugly bag turned out to be a hot air balloon in shape of the ugly Pokémon Shroomish.

"Eww, gross! Shroomish is a fungus, and I hear those are bad for you!" I shouted at Tulipia's face, but she was so drained of color that she almost looked white even though I knew she probably wasn't since that's not how ethnicity works.

"Why do you look like a white person?" I asked sensitively.

"Remember how I said the police were after me?" she said secretively like she had a secret about who those people actually were.

"Yes," I lied.

"Well, that's them! Let's go!" She screamed, but I was too interested in seeing how the events would unfold, so I convinced her to stay. The balloon descended slowly, and I saw that there were two people in the basket accompanied by the Pokémon Shroomish. They said a really bad poem that didn't rhyme or make any sense. It went like this:

"To protect the region from all criminals," Jay said.

"To defend the people from all criminals," Missy continued.

"To denounce the evils of crime!"

"To extend our reach and stop crime!"

"Missy!"

"Jay!"

"Team Police blast off with pure justice!"

"Surrender now or get death by justice!"

"And I'm Shroomish!" Shroomish burped.

Missy, Jay, and Shroomish squatted down in between the glittery buildings, blocking our way. I wasn't sure what they wanted, but I definitely hid Rianna's new earrings (which we had stolen from the mall) behind my hair along with the rest of her. Divann and Golett hid in the bathroom, but I ignored them because this part isn't about them, so they can stay there until the next chapter. I noticed Tulipia looked scared.

"Are you scared, Tulipia?" I asked.

"No doy!" she screamed at me rudely. I was offended and decided not to talk to her anymore. She was so self-absorbed, but whatever: I wasn't going to let her ruin my day.

"Give us the girl, Xylark. She's coming with us!" Missy commanded.

"What did she do?" I yelled, "She won't tell me."

At that moment Tulipia started crying and told me her big secret: that they were after her for killing their son, which she claimed didn't happen. The son was still alive but trapped in another dimension, she said. I didn't understand at first, but she fully explained the situation over the next couple of hours until I finally got what she meant and realized there was no way she could have committed the crime since a crime hadn't even been committed. The boy was simply lost in another dimension and no one would believe her—not even me.

"Never mind!" I yelled again at Missy and Jay. "She just told me! I'll bring her over. She's crazy!"

"Please, Xylark. You have to believe me!" Tulipia cried. Lucky for her she had said the magic word, so I decided to do what she said.

"Okay, then let's make sure they won't keep following us." I winked at her.

"Fine, then," Jay giggled, "We'll just take her from you! Go, Kakuna!"

"Go, Cascoon!" Missy commanded.

The two faced Rianna and immediately began to shoot Electro Balls, which slowed down Rianna almost to a crawl until she finally broke free and OHKO'd both with a swift Angel Kick, breaking their shells and killing them on contact.

"You think we care about those poopy pupae?" Jay said, "Ha! We have Shroomish! Use Spore!"

Shroomish shook like a butt in a twerking music video and sent spores flying all over Rianna, causing her to immediately fall asleep. She looked so adorable that I took lots of pictures and put them on Instagram.

"Eeeek! Save me!" Tulipia screamed as Team Police started handcuffing her hands together. Buneary saw this and decided it was time for her to do something. Suddenly Buneary's fists lit up and turned to fireballs, knocking Shroomish out on contact and causing severe brain damage to Missy and Jay.

"Thank you, Buneary!" Tulipia screamed, and suddenly Buneary began to glow and jump on its legs like a bunny or something. It flashed and flashed, and then suddenly it became a Lopunny.

"I can't believe Buneary evolved!" Divann said excitedly. "She's so beautiful," he moaned as Lopunny winked at him. I got jealous, but I knew I couldn't say anything. Tulipia was safe for now, but we knew Team Police wouldn't stop until we had returned their son back to them. If that didn't work, though, we could kill them instead, but for now we had to keep on training our Pokémon and trying to get badges. Things were great, and no amount of police or other things could stop us now!


	9. The Legend of the Yellow Diamonds!

"Thanks for saving me back there, Buneary," Tulipia said happily, and Buneary winked and gave her a high five. They were really cute, but not as cute as me and Rianna.

"Where are we going now, guys?" Divann asked.

"Well, I guess we should head to the next gym. It's in the next town over: Gleeville!" I replied. The town was named after the show Glee, which everyone there loved. They even had Pokémon musicals that your Pokéfriends could perform in.

"All right, let's go!" Tulipia said, and Golett started flying around excitedly. While heading down the path we noticed a big boring building and decided to check it out.

"Let's check it out," Rianna said.

"I think it's a museum!" Tulipia squealed. I rolled my eyes really far back into my head at the thought of a boring time at a museum, but Tulipia and Rianna seemed excited, so I decided to go with them.

"Welcome to the Pokémon Museum!" The museum lady said when we walked in, "The entrance fee is 50 Poké Dollars!"

I noticed Divann looking sad, and I realized it was because he was poor and couldn't pay, but I was rich, so I paid for him with a wink.

"Thanks, Xylark!" he said, and I felt good about myself for helping poor people.

When we got inside, we noticed a lot of policemen outside of a room called the "Yellow Diamonds Exhibition Hall," just like in the Rihanna song. We ran up to them and asked them what happened.

"What happened?" we asked them.

"Someone stole the Yellow Diamonds!" the police officer cried and started to shake.

"What are the Yellow Diamonds?" Tulipia asked stupidly.

"I think I can answer that!" said a voice from behind us. We turned around and saw an old man who was dressed like an old man who had a cane, except he didn't have a cane. "Oh my, is that a Rianna?" he asked, pointing at Rianna.

"Yes," I said even though it was fucking obvious.

"That's an amazing coincidence! The Yellow Diamonds have everything to do with the Pokémon Rianna," the old man said.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Ri ri anna?" Rianna echoed.

"Well, they cause Rianna to change formes, but we don't know what those formes are because no one has even encountered such a rare Pokémon like Rianna until now!"

"Are you saying my Rianna is the only Rianna?" I questioned.

"Yes," he said. I couldn't believe I had such a rare Pokémon that everyone wanted. I could tell Tulipia and Divann were jealous.

"Wow!" Tulipia exclaimed, "How many formes are there?"

"Well right now we think four since there are four Yellow Diamonds," the old museum man answered.

"We gotta go find them!" Divann screamed.

"Yeah!" I agreed. He was super cute when he was excited.

"Maybe you should let the policemen do their work?" the old man suggested stupidly, but it was too late because we had already left and we didn't hear him or care.

"Where should we look first?" Tulipia asked.

I thought for a moment and said, "Well, let's get the next gym badge first. Maybe there'll be some clues in Gleeville!"

"You're right, Xylark," Divann said, "You're so smart." He blushed and kicked the ground with his feet. Golett did a little dance and we started heading into the next town and toward the gym.


	10. Miltank and the Flappy Badge!

As soon as we entered Gleeville, we heard music everywhere. People and Pokémon were all dancing together and singing in the street, just like in the show Glee. Even Golett, who was a terrible dancer, started trying to join in, but of course he failed.

"Wow, this place is great!" Divann ejected, and I could tell he thought this place was great.

I smiled, winked seductively, and said, "Maybe we can do a duet later if you want." Divann blushed sexily and started snorting, which made Buneary giggle.

"Anyway, you guys, let's go to the gym and get our next badge. There it is!" Tulipia pointed to a big green and gold circus tent that was playing circus music. There was even an elephant out front that you could feed peanuts. I loved elephants.

"Elephants are my favorite animal!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. I ran up to it and fed it peanuts. I saw Rianna getting jealous, but I didn't care because she wasn't an elephant.

"Xylark, c'mon—stop wasting time," Tulipia lectured.

"What kind of Pokémon does this leader use, by the way?" I queried.

"She uses Flying types: my favorites!" Tulipia squealed excitedly.

"SHE!?" I was shocked, screaming, "I didn't know girls were allowed to be gym leaders. They're icky!" I almost puked.

"Yes, SHE!" Tulipia said like she was angry or something, "And her name is Miltank."

"What? Why is she named after a Pokémon?" Divann aksed erotically, "That's a weird name."

"She IS a Pokémon!" Tulipia said like we were dumb. Divann and I both gasped and had heart attacks. We entered the circus tent and saw a Miltank sitting in the middle of it in a clown outfit and makeup.

"Welcome to the Gleeville Gym!" She mooed, "I bet you're here for the Flappy Badge!"

"You got that right, cowgurl!" I said sassily and we all laughed because I had said a funny joke. People usually told me I was very funny, so I wasn't surprised that Miltank liked me.

"Well, let's begin. You may be very attractive, but let's see if you're a good trainer, too!" She mooed seductively, "Go, Noctowl! Use Wing Attack!"

"Go Rianna! Dodge the Wing Attack and use Tail Glow!" Rianna dodged the Wing Attack easily and her tail began to glow, raising her Special Attack higher than even Deoxys's.

"Wow, I've never seen a Rianna before! It's so cute and powerful!" Miltank mooed in awe. Rianna winked and flicked her tail.

"Okay, Rianna, use Angelic Crunch!" I commanded and she did. An angelic glow formed around her and filled the room, permanently blinding Noctowl. She crunched her fangs on his beak and destroyed it on contact.

"Wow, you really are a great trainer!" Miltank said as she put Noctowl back into its Poké Ball, "But there's no way you'll get past my last Pokémon! Go Chatot!" She mooed like a scream.

Chatot burst out of the ball and immediately started singing. "Chatot, use Sing!" Miltank mooed. A stream of music slammed into Rianna, but nothing happened.

"Ha, you've fallen right into my trap, Miltank. Rianna isn't affected by sleep moves!"

"MOOOO!" Miltank said. I laughed at her and shook my finger. Chatot got angry and started taking matters into her own wings. She started thinking and looking like she was making a bad plan.

"Xylark, she's using Nasty Plot!" Divann shouted.

"I know, I'm not an idiot!" I lied. I couldn't believe he thought I didn't know that even though I didn't.

"Rianna, counter back with a Shadow Ball!"

"You must be kidding!" Miltank snorted, "Chatot is immune to Ghost-type attacks. It's part Normal!"

I just laughed at her ignorance as the Shadow Ball made contact with Chatot's face, slicing her wing nearly off. She fell to the ground fainted.

"But how!?" Miltank mooed. Rianna just winked cutely and ran back to me and sat behind my hair. "Well, I guess I have no choice: here is the Flappy Badge!"

Everyone in the stadium started cheering for me and shouting my name. Even Rianna started singing a song for me. It was the best day ever.

"Thanks, Miltank, but can I ask you a question?" I asked.

"Yes," she mooed.

"Do you know where I can find the Yellow Diamonds?" I queried interestedly.

"I heard that they were stolen but the criminal hid them someplace. I think I heard a rumor that one is in Margarita Mountain just over there," she offered, pointing to a mountain that was white with snow like a margarita.

"All right, well, I think we know where we're going next!" Tulipia said happily, and Buneary did a dance that was like something you see in a Lady Gaga music video. We all laughed and started heading toward the mountain.


	11. Mishap at Margarita Mountain!

"Ugh, this place is nothing like a margarita!" I complained. It was dark and scary, and there were Zubat everywhere.

"It's wet like a margarita, Xylark," Tulipia snarked. I had to stop myself from slapping her. I couldn't believe she would talk to me, of all people, like that. I decided I wouldn't ever talk to her again.

"Divann, would you please tell Tulipia I am angry at her?" I told Divann.

He replied obediently, "Well if you aren't talking to her, I'm not either." Tulipia started crying, and she and Buneary ran into the darkness.

"Good riddance!" I said, but Rianna said that she felt bad for her. I couldn't believe Rianna would betray me like that, but I forgave her because she was cute.

"Well, the first Yellow Diamond has got to be around here somewhere," Divann pointed out as though that weren't extremely obvious. We began to search, turning over every rock or Geodude we came across.

"It's nowhere!" I shouted in frustration when suddenly we saw the entrance to a cave. "Maybe it's in there!" I suggested, but a scream came out of it that sounded like that of an ambiguously ethnic person.

"Tulipia!" Divann and I screamed at the same time. I was still mad at her, but I couldn't let her get hurt because I'm a good person. "We've gotta go see what's wrong!"

As soon as we entered the cave we saw Tulipia and Buneary being dragged away by two figures. "Rianna, use Flash!" I said and she did. The whole cave lit up, revealing Missy, Jay, and Shroomish.

"You again!" I bellowed, "I thought we got rid of you in Minaj Town!"

"Yeah right, you worthless gay!" Missy yelled homophobically. It was one thing to arrest an innocent person, but it was another to say mean things about gay people. It was now personal.

"You bitch!" I screamed and lunged at Missy, ripping out her earrings.

"Now you've done it," she giggled, "Beedrill! Go!"

"Salandit! Go!" Jay agreed.

"Me! Go!" Shroomish said jokingly, but no one laughed because his timing was way off.

Shroomish used Seed Bomb, which immediately OHKO'd Golett, but Rianna dodged the attack.

"Rianna, use Blue Flare!" I commanded, but she had read my mind with telekinesis and was already beginning the attack. A blue flame shot out of Rianna's mouth and incinerated Shroomish and Beedrill.

"Nice try, but we still have Salandit!" Jay screamed, but he was wrong. Rianna was so powerful that she looked with her piercing eyes at Salandit, killing it instantly.

"Ugh, why are you so strong?" Missy sighed.

"Xylark, help me!" Tulipia screamed.

"OMG, I am! You are so impatient!" I yelled, but then I remembered I wasn't talking to her still, "Oh, yeah, I'm not talking to you until you apologize."

"I'm so sorry, Xylark!" she cried, sweet tears of remorse flowing from her eyeballs.

I smiled and yelled to Rianna, "Finish them all off with Sacred Meteor!"

Suddenly the whole cave glowed and exploded, sending Missy, Jay, Shroomish, Salandit, and Beedrill into the air until they turned into a star and made a ding noise like when Team Rocket "gets blasted off again" in the anime.

"Thank you for saving me, Xylark. You're so brave and also considered attractive by everyone you meet," Tulipia said and Buneary agreed, "Did you find the Yellow Diamond yet?"

"No, we were trying to find it before you interrupted us," Divann said, rolling his eyes so fast they made a sound like whoosh.

"Sorry!" Tulipia replied, but it was too late for apologies.

"Wait, is that it?" she asked, pointing to a shining yellow diamond in the corner.

"Wait, there it is!" I said and pointed to the diamond, "I found it!" I went up to the Yellow Diamond and grabbed it.

"What should we do with it?" Divann asked.

"Well, the old museum guy said it would make Rianna change formes, but I like her just how she is," I said thoughtfully. Rianna smiled, but she looked nervous too. "I guess we'll save it for when we really need it."

Everyone agreed with me, but suddenly the ground started shaking uncontrollably.

"An earthquake!" Tulipia screamed, "It must be from the Sacred Meteor!"

"OMG, it's not Rianna's fault, you slut!" I yelled. I couldn't believe I had saved her twice from Team Police and this is how she treated me. At that moment nearly one hundred Steelix burst out of the ground.

"What's going on!" Divann asked, "And what's that?" He pointed to a figure crouched in front of the Steelix.

"It's Heatran!" I boomed.

"You've destroyed this mountain, and now I will destroy you!" Heatran screamed at us.

"No!" Tulipia shrieked.

There seemed to be no way out of this, but then I looked down at the Yellow Diamond and knew what I had to do.


	12. In the Heatran of the Moment!

Rianna seemed to have read my mind because she came up to me with fear and determination in her eyes. She said she was ready.

"I'm ready," she said.

"Haha, what do you think you're going to do with that stone and a little kitty/chinchilla?" Heatran mocked.

"Quit being rude!" I yelled and took the Yellow Diamond in my hand and caressed Rianna with it all over. I noticed Divann getting jealous, but I seriously couldn't deal with his drama right now. Rianna started meowing and glowing.

"What's going on here?" Heatran shouted, "What's it doing?"

Everyone stood back as Rianna grew and grew, getting longer and more serpentine. Suddenly the room filled with a blinding light and then got regular again. Standing in front of me was not Rianna.

"Furrghi" She croaked.

Furrghi was part Angel type and part Dragon type and resembled one of those Chinese dragons that they use in those parades with all the people under them, except she didn't have any people under her. She was bright white with glittery scales and the same earrings as before but bigger and more expensive looking. She had long dark hair with highlights like the real Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas.

"OMG, you look fierce!" everyone shouted. Furrghi blushed and winked seductively.

"So that's your gimmick, huh?" Heatran chortled. At that exact moment Furrghi turned to him and spit in his face.

"Oh snap!" Tulipia snapped.

I yelled, "Use Focus Blast to kill all the Steelix!" She did. Focus Blast after Focus Blast hit the Steelix one by one, never missing, until the last had died.

"Scared yet?" I said to Heatran, but he pretended to ignore me, which I found to be rude. That was crossing the line.

"Use Earthquake, now!" I yelled to Furrghi. She did a little dance move like from the music video for Glamorous by Fergie and then let out a huge Earthquake.

"LOL, I'm wearing an Air Balloon," Heatran snorted and he let out a huge mixture of Dragon Pulse and Dark Pulse, hitting Furrghi quadruple super-effectively.

SLAM!

She hit the ground… dead.

"No!" everyone except Heatran screamed and went up to Furrghi as she lay there lifeless. I started crying and ran to Heatran, hitting and hitting him over and over. He just laughed.

"Why would you kill my best friend?" I cried at him.

"Because you killed mine," he said.

"What, no I didn't," I retorted.

"Oh, what? My bad. Never mind, then." he said and walked back into the darkness of the cave. I stomped my feet in anger and ran back to Furrghi, who was being hugged by Golett. I pushed him off and started crying again. A single tear from my perfect face hit Furrghi's skin and she began to glow like a glittery coin.

Suddenly she woke up and was like, "Xylark, you saved my life! You're the best!" I blushed and kicked the ground with my feet.

After that we flew on Furrghi's back to a small field on the other side of Margarita Mountain.

"Furrrrr, furrr… Furrghi!" Furrghi said and sounded almost like the real Fergie. I knew this meant that she wanted to turn back into Rianna, so I rubbed her sensually all over again with the Yellow Diamond and she became normal again. She meowed cutely and hid behind my hair.

"You two have such a great relationship," Divann said, "I'm jealous of her." I giggled and gave him a little kiss on the cheek. I heard him gasp, and then he looked really embarrassed. I could tell Golett was jealous, but I didn't care.

"After all that excitement I could use a real margarita!" Tulipia squealed, and I agreed so we headed to the nearest bar in the next town over, anticipating our next badge.


	13. Spooky Love Triangle!

"What the hell is this place?" I asked, overlooking the deserted streets of the ugly town.

"I—I don't know!" Tulipia said monotonously.

"I do!" Divann squealed like a little girl. Eww, that was gross. "It's Spooky City!"

"Spooky City?" I asked, "That sounds like some lame, seasonally-opened Halloween store."

"IT'S NOT!" he yelled at me. Oh, my God. I couldn't believe he just yelled at me. Obviously he realized his mistake because he apologized immediately, "I'm sorry. It's just—I've heard about this town. It's supposed to be the scariest in the world!"

"I don't get scared," I said confidently. "One time I went to a haunted house and while I was there the power went out, and then someone broke in and killed some people, but I captured him, and I wasn't even scared of the haunted house either."

"Wow, you're really brave, Xylark!" Buneary chirped. I winked with both eyes.

Anyway, we went through the gross town. The streets were all windy and it was dark all the time even though it was day. Suddenly we saw a huge ugly building. It was purple and pink but not cute like you would think—it was dilapidated and stuff. I think I even saw a cobweb.

"Let's go in!" Divann said, "It looks spooky!"

"LOL! Yeah, sure. Spooky," I snarked. I wasn't scared of anything. We approached an old wooden door that had green mold all over it. I made Tulipia open it because I wasn't about to get my perfect hands dirty.

"Hello? Anybody home?" Tulipia said.

"You are so cliché," I replied. How could she really think I would let her get away with saying something so banal?

Suddenly we saw something skirt along the far wall. Buneary literally shit herself. We all laughed, but then we saw what the shadowy figure was: a Golett, except it had long red hair like Lindsay Lohan when she had long red hair. I decided to call her Girlett.

"Gol, golett!" Golett said and blushed.

"Girrrrrlett!" Girlett replied, and then they kissed.

"Wow, looks like Golett found a girlfriend!" Tulipia giggled. I noticed that Buneary was crying loudly. Maybe she was jealous?

"I guess she can come explore with us!" I suggested aphrodisiatically.

Divann, Golett, Girlett, the others and I started exploring, looking for a Yellow Diamond maybe, but mostly just letting Divann entertain himself before we went to the gym. Suddenly the ground began to shake and we heard gears shifting and the ground shaking.

"What's that?" Tulipia asked loudly as though that was necessary.

BAM! A Golurk with long blonde hair and an obviously fake tan burst through the wall and stomped in front of us!

"AHHHH!" Everyone screamed except me, "It's Girlett's mother!"

"Girrr, girrrlurk!" she yelled at Girlett.

"Girlett!" Girlett replied defiantly.

Buneary seemed to have had enough. Her fists suddenly turned to ice, and she slammed Girlurk in the face with a huge Ice Punch. The ghost immediately died.

"Girlett!" Girlett cried, "You killed my mommy!"

"Like mother, like daughter," Buneary replied darkly, and soon Girlett was dead, too.

"Golett, gol," Golett said sadly, but then he realized that Buneary really must've loved him to commit murder, so he went up and hugged and thanked her.

"Looks like Golett's got a new girlfriend!" Tulipia ejaculated. Golett and Buneary blushed and then started making out, getting more and more intense. Suddenly Golett was on top of Buneary, shaking and moving around erotically. After they were finished, we decided we should leave the mansion since nothing else was there.

"Let's go find that gym," I giggled sexily. "Maybe we can take some notes from our Pokémon, huh, Divann?"

"Uhh, I guess," he blushed. I noticed Tulipia giving me the stank eye, but I was just like, "Whatever, bitch," and then we went to the gym.


	14. TaBoo and the Fisty Badge!

"Where the fuck is this gym?" Tulipia aksed. I couldn't believe she cussed. I had never cussed around her, and I couldn't believe that she was spewing this shit right in front of my impressionable Rianna.

"Hold. The. Fuck. Up," I said to her with those pauses and everything.

"What?" She said annoyedly, but you better believe I was way more annoyedly than her.

"You said a bad word!" I screamed, shaking her as rhythmically as possible. She looked shocked, but I noticed her gaze wasn't directed towards me like usual.

"Is… is that the gym?" She pointed. I didn't know if this was a trick to get me to stop shaking her, but I looked anyway. Standing in front of us was a huge cemetery with a rickety old sign above it that said "gym."

"Obviously it's the gym, Tulipia. It says so right there," I explained, rolling my eyes so hard I did a backflip.

"Well, what're we waiting for? Let's go!" Divann yelled. I had almost forgotten he was even in this story. We headed into the cemetery, but suddenly a ghost jumped out from behind a scary tombstone.

"Boo! I'm a ghost!" the phantom yelled southernly, "Ain't I spooky?" I thought the accent was pretty hot, so I winked. "Are ya'll here for the badge? You sure are brave to come to this town. It's haunted!"

"Yeah, we're here for the badge, and we're gonna win it, too, boo." I shrieked flirtatiously.

"Well, before we begin, I think we're in need of some introductions. My name is TaBoo. Get it?" he joked. I got it, but Divann and Tulipia didn't because they weren't as smart as me.

"Yes, I get it: it's stupid. I'm Xylark, and this is Rianna." Upon hearing the name he looked shocked because I could tell he had never seen a Rianna before. "This is Tulipia, Buneary, Golett, and Divann. What types of Pokémon do you use?"

"Isn't it obvious? I use Fighting types! Go, Medicham!" he screamed.

"Go Rianna! Use Sucker Punch!" I commanded sexily.

"Ha! Nice try! I used Meditate, so Sucker Punch is going to fail!" TaBoo said sassily.

"Shows what you know," I winked as Sucker Punch ripped right through Medicham, OHKOing him immediately.

"Wh- what!?" TaBoo shrieked, "That's impossible!"

I giggled and stomped my feet seductively, "So, what's your next Pokémon?"

"Go, Scrafty!" he screamed, "Use Crunch—quick!" Scrafty jumped up and his jaws wrapped provocatively around Rianna, crunching her nearly in half. She lay there, barely breathing.

"No, Rianna!" Tulipia screamed. I couldn't believe it. This wasn't about her—it was about me and Rianna.

"No, Rianna!" I screamed more loudly and glared at Tulipia. My words of encouragement filled Rianna with power, and she jumped up defiantly. "Use Blessed Breath!"

She started breathing louder and louder, blowing with force stronger than a hurricane, and then BAM! Scrafty was down.

"Ha, well you've gotten through my two weakest, but there's no way you're going to get through my last Pokémon," TaBoo giggled and threw his last Poké Ball, "Go, Gallade!"

Gallade jumped out and started using Bulk Up over and over. "Gallade, now use Psycho Cut!" he screamed as Gallade's blade sliced Rianna right in half.

"Rianna, quick! Before you die, use Explosion!" I shouted. Everyone gasped because they couldn't believe I had thought of something so brilliant. If she used Explosion she would just faint instead of die. Rianna winked and started glowing; then suddenly she burst into a bunch of chunks, OHKOing Gallade right before she herself fainted.

"That was amazing!" TaBoo said.

"No shit!" Tulipia snarked back. Jesus Christ I couldn't believe she was cussing again. I glared at her.

"Well, I guess you deserve this, then!" TaBoo winked as he threw us a badge, "The Fisty Badge!"

"Yay!" everyone screamed, even Rianna, who had already fully recovered.

"Where's the next badge, by the way?" I asked TaBoo.

"Oh, well it's not too far off, but you have to cross a dangerous river," he replied, pointing to a big river not too far from the cemetery. "Good luck!"

"Like we need it," I winked, and we left. The river was no match for me and my best friend, Rianna. Divann, however, didn't seem too sure.


	15. Dominicobalt and Aipom!

The river was big and full of water, but I knew that I wouldn't have any problem crossing it since I had won several awards for swimming before I had become a Pokémon trainer. One time I met Michael Phelps, and he told me I was probably a better swimmer than him. We dated for a little bit, but I ended it because he wasn't serious enough for me.

"Eww, water! I can't swim!" Divann said pathetically. Even Golett rolled his eyes—or whatever they are.

"Well, how're we going to get across?" Tulipia asked. I looked around for like a second and found the supplies to build a boat and then I built it, so we got in and started across the river.

"You're such a good carpenter!" Divann said, "Just like Jesus."

I giggled at the comparison, but I didn't disagree. The boat was going along great, but then all of a sudden a bear attacked the boat and it broke. Luckily I had built it so that there would be enough planks for all of us to hold on. We were scared, but we managed to survive for the two days we floated along. On the brink of death, we reached an island.

"I didn't think we were going to survive!" Tulipia said, but I knew at least I would've. "Let's see if we can find some food. I'm hungry!"

We searched all around the island and found some coconuts, which were tasty, but we wanted some meat if you know what I mean. We sat on the beach sadly but then heard some footsteps behind us. When I turned around I saw a tall Hawaiian-looking guy with blonde hair and a surfboard and a pooka shell necklace. He was pretty muscular, and he had a pet Aipom sitting on his shoulder. All he was wearing were orange and yellow board shorts, and you could see that V-shaped muscle thing leading down to his you-know-what area. Everyone swooned, even Golett, who I didn't think was even bi or anything.

"Who are you?" Tulipia asked sweetly. Girl was lucky I was letting her take this one.

"I'm Dominicobalt," he winked back. "You look fine. Are you Hawaiian?"

"I don't know because I'm adopted." Tulipia swooned and immediately got up and gave him a kiss. "We were just looking for some meat. Do you have any for us?"

"Well, I know I at least have some for you. Come back to my place. I've just finished making some dinner," he said.

"Aiiiiii pom!" Aipom said, obviously.

So we went back to Dominicobalt's house, which was super ugly and only made of like branches and leaves and stuff. On his raggedy table was a huge feast: bacon, salami, coconut margaritas, and Greek salad.

"I don't eat meat." Divann said. I looked at him like he was an idiot. I just ignored his stupidity and began eating. By the time we finished the meal, I noticed Tulipia and Dominicobalt starting to rub each other.

"Um, should we leave?" I aksed.

"No," Dominicobalt said and winked seductively. He and Tulipia were rubbing, and then they started making out fergaliciously. Then he did her, and then they were done and breathing hard. Aipom was clapping his hands, and I noticed Divann was eyeing me sexily.

"Thanks for the meal, Dominicobalt!" Divann said, "But I think we should probably try to find a way to the next town now. We're getting badges!"

"Badges?" Dominicobalt asked. "Well you can take the boat down by the dock. It'll take you right to Streisandy Beach. It's a beach resort but there's a gym there too!"

"Sweet!" I screamed. Tulipia looked concerned but agreed to come along. She gave Dominicobalt a kiss on the face, and we left. When we got to the boat, we all got on except Tulipia.

"I—I can't leave him. I love him!" she shrieked and ran back to his hut.

"Wait!" Divann screamed, and we ran along behind her. When Divann and I got there we saw Tulipia crying on the floor and Dominicobalt sitting in the same place where we left him, throat slit, with Aipom hanging from the ceiling fan by the neck. A note was sitting on the table. It read, "We're going to kill everyone you love until you turn yourself in, murderer." It was signed by Team Police.

"Ugh! They are so mean!" Tulipia said, but there was nothing we could do about it now. When we got back to the boat, we waved goodbye to the island and headed off towards Streisandy Beach.


	16. Tournament at Streisandy Beach!

"Why is it called Streisandy Beach?" Divann asked. "Isn't Bette Midler the one in Beaches?"

"Who's that?" I asked since neither Bette Midler nor Barbara Streisand existed in the Pokémon universe.

Divann shrugged, "I don't know."

"I love beaches!" Tulipia squealed out of nowhere.

"I thought you stayed on the island with Domincobalt," I said even though I obviously clearly remembered what had just happened. She was just acting too happy for my tastes. Her smile faded.

"Lol," I thought aloud.

"Hey, guys, what's that?" Divann asked, pointing with his finger toward a giant group of people jumping around.

"I dunno. Let's check it out!" Lopunny shrieked, but first I was like, "Girl, I need a margarita," so I got one, and then we left.

By the time we arrived, everyone at the event had already noticed Rianna and realized she was a special Pokémon, so they all were quiet and watched us approach the arena.

"Sir, we don't allow such amazing Pokémon to compete in our tournament. Only regular Pokémon can be entered. And don't try to use your good looks to persuade me!" The contest lady said to me. "Oh, but that Lopunny looks like it should be able to enter. It has nothing special about it!"

"Lop, op. Loppa ny!" Lopunny plopped.

"You heard her! We're game to enter!" Tulipia yelled, unfortunately appearing to have regained her happiness.

"What about my Golett?" Divann asked the contest lady.

"Oh, I dunno about him. He looks a little pathetic," she answered. Golett looked embarrassed, and you could see Lopunny frontin' like she didn't know him or somethin'.

LET THE TOURNAMENT BEGIN!

"Up first, we have Tulipia and Lopunny!" the announcer announced, "Versus Peepo and Charjabug!"

"Beep-beep," Charjabug said.

"Charjabug, use Charge!" Peepo yelled, and Charjabug did.

"While he's doing that, use Switcheroo!" Tulipia said, and Lopunny did, trading her Flame Orb for Charjabug's Chople Berry.

"Oh no, now he's burned!" Peepo yelled stupidly.

"Duh," Tulipia replied, "Lopunny, now use Rock Punch!"

"Before she does that, use Close Combat, Charjabug!" Peepo yelled, and the attack almost killed Lopunny, but she was holding that Chople Berry, so the power was reduced, so she lived and killed Charjabug with Rock Punch.

"Round One is over! Tulipia and Lopunny win!" The announcer said announcingly,

"Round Two now! Lopunny versus Popee and Aromatisse!"

"LOL, Aromatisse is so gay," Tulipia yelled, and then Lopunny OHKO'd it.

"Round Two is over! Tulipia and Lopunny win!" the announcer squirted, "Final Round now! Lopunny versus Peepop and Stunfisk!"

"What's that?" Tulipia asked.

"OMG, can you not hear? It's a Stunfisk," Peepop said sexily. I liked him. "Stunfisk, use Thunder Wave!"

"Ha, shows what you know!" Tulipia snarked, "My Lopunny has Limber, so it can't get paralyzed."

"Uh, no, it was Klutz, which you just showed against Charjabug, idiot," Peepop replied. Oh god, he was so cool. Lopunny was paralyzed.

"Buneary! Hi Jump Kick!" Tulipia screamed, but Lopunny was paralyzed, so obviously that wasn't going to work.

"Stunfisk, now's your chance! Use Earth Power!" He did. The earth rumbled, entombing Lopunny.

"Oh no, this looks bad," Tulipia feared, but then she remembered she had given Lopunny one of her sparkling waters earlier. "Lopunny! Squirt it with the water!"

"But it's San Pellegrino!" the Pokémon replied.

"I don't care! It's our only hope!"

"Lopunny!" Lopunny replied, shaking the bottle up and unleashing the carbonated stream all over Stunfisk's hot body. It died immediately.

"Round Three is over! Tulipia and Lopunny win!" the announcer said as Tulipia and Lopunny hopped around, celebrating. The announcer came down to us and was like, "Hey, girl. You were good. The gym leader said she wants to battle you now."

"Wow, good for you, Tulipia!" Divann said coyly. I wasn't jealous because I knew Tulipia wouldn't win the gym battle, so I just pretended like I hadn't heard anything.

"Well, if she wants a battle, she's going to get one!" Tulipia bellowed, "Let's go!"


	17. Aquafina and the Splashy Badge!

"Welcome to Barbrawl Shore, friends! Located right next to beautiful Streisandy Beach!" some random tour guide yelled even though he had not been asked either to guide or yell.

"Why are you so lame?" I asked, laughing and high fiving everyone around me.

"Well, uhh, I, uhh…" The tour guide stammered before wallowing off back to his home presumably to end his own life.

"That wasn't nice, Xylark," Tulipia said, but I wasn't about to listen to that hoe. "But I guess I shouldn't expect you to be nice at this point."

I just ignored her and looked around for the gym. "Oh, look! There it is!" I screamed after I saw it. I pointed to the gym, which was a building that said "gym" on it. It had lights and stuff on the letters of the word "gym," which turned out to be what the building actually was.

"Is that the gym?" Divann asked. I couldn't believe it. We entered the gym-like building and saw lots of things inside that one would expect to be in such a location: people, places, and even things. Standing against the far wall was what appeared to be a female human in a bikini. She turned out to, in fact, be both female and human, and she was wearing a bikini due to the fact that before her was a pool in which her Pokémon battled due to the fact that they were all Water-type Pokémon.

"I'm Tulipia!" Tulipia said, "What kind of Pokémon do you use?"

"Water-type Pokémon," the Gym leader announced, "And my name is Aquafina. It's polite to call someone by their name, no?" she asked in a foreign accent. I assumed it was Spanish or something because of her name, but she looked white for some reason.

"Are you the girl who won the beach tournament? If so, be prepared to lose!" Aquafina cackled, "Go Pelipper!"

"Ha, that has a four times weakness to Electric-type attacks, and it just so happens that my Lopunny knows Thunder Punch, so take this!" Tulipia screamed as Lopunny did as Tulipia had mentioned just in that past bit of dialogue. Pelipper died.

"Whatever, little girl," Aquafina said in her accent, which was beginning to sound maybe Greek or something. I don't know. "I still have two Pokémon left! Go, Quagsire!"

Quagsire jumped out of the Pokéball and said, "Quag."

Lopunny, having heard this, was pissed. She didn't even wait for Tulipia's orders and attempted another Thunder Punch.

"What are you doing, Lopunny? He's immune to Electric-type attacks!" Tulipia freaked.

Lopunny looked all confused, but Quagsire just smirked as he used Earthquake, blasting Lopunny off her feet. Again he taunted, "Quag."

After this second remark, Lopunny was filled with rage. Mustering all her power, she rubbed Quagsire's face with some grass she had found outside, screaming, "Take that, you mudfish abomination!" Quagsire fainted and was taken to the hospital. He died later that day.

"Well, well, well. We aren't so stupid after all, are we?" Aquafina quipped.

Suddenly the lights flicked and something shiny caught my eye.

"And now for my last Pokémon! Go Poliwrath!" Dasani screamed.

"Fuck," Tulipia said solemnly. I ignored her garbage-mouth this time because I was still so fixated on that shiny thing.

"Poliwrath, use Brick Break!" Aquafina demanded, and he did. Lopunny's face literally almost flew off her skull.

"Wait a minute!" I finally realized, "That's a Yellow Diamond!" I squealed and picked it up. Rianna ran up to me, curious. While Poliwrath continued to beat the shit out of Lopunny, I realized that the only way for her to win was for me to step in with Rianna's new forme—whatever it may be. I quickly rubbed it all over Rianna, never taking my eyes off Divann, who I could tell was hiding an erection. Suddenly Rianna started to glow.

First, her face fell off and a new face grew in its place. Her hoop earrings stayed in place, but gross, greasy, badly dyed blonde hair started growing out of her scalp. Her fur began to glisten with glitter and shame as her feet grew into tentacles.

"Quèxia," she burped, which sounded like the name Ke$ha (which sounds like Kesha) just in case you read that incorrectly.

"Quèxia, quick! Use Psycho Boost!" I screamed because she was Angel/Psychic type. She did, and then Poliwrath fainted.

"You win!" Aquafina congratulated, "Congratulations!"

"I did it!" Tulipia celebrated.

"LOL, not you," Aquafina snarked as she pointed to me, "Him! He's the one who defeated me. Congratulations, Xylark and Quèxia, you get the Splashy Badge!"

"Oh, I'm so proud of you!" Tulipia said but I could tell she was jealous since her Pokémon sucked.

"Quèxia, xia," Quèxia said as glitter rained from the sky. She was super hot. I liked that she could swim, too. She was very talented.

"Hey, now that you three have a Pokémon that can use Surf, you guys can head across the ocean to Trübludton!" Aquafina announced.

"Oh, I love that show!" Divann said, but that was obvious since he was gay like me and I loved that show too like every other gay.

"Ugh, this is sucky," Tulipia whined.

"Don't you mean 'Sookie,'" I said with a wink to Divann. God, I was so clever.


	18. Kyogre and the Loss of a Friend!

Tulipia, Lopunny, Golett, Divann, and I were having a great time riding Quèxia on the high seas until suddenly Divann started sneezing and shit.

"Holy God, I've already said, 'Bless you,' like a million times. I'm done. You've lost your privilege," I said nicely after his recent bout of sneezing.

"I think he's allergic to glitter!" Tulipia offered.

"What. The. Fuck," I replied, "How dare you accuse my Quèxia of making anyone sick. You're the worst."

"Quèxia, xia, quèèèè!"

"She might be right," Divann said. I just ignored it because I was not about to have a mutiny up on my bounty.

"Look, it's starting to rain!" I said observationally, "Let's get under Quèxia's hair!"

"Oh, no!" everyone said as we climbed under the tattered dreads. Suddenly we heard a voice.

"I am Kyogre, creator of the oceans. Who dares cross over me without my permission?"

"Um, excuse me, Kyogre, but we're going to Trübludton, so could you please lose the 'tude and back off? Thanks," I said super politely, but for some reason Kyogre got pissed.

"I ain't got no 'tude, boy," Kyogre spouted, "Eat this, loser!" A cyclone of water and oceanic pollution stuff like those plastic rings from 6-packs of sodas that get caught on bottlenose dolphins' noses splashed up and hit Quèxia in the face. Luckily she was used to having garbage thrown at her, so this did practically no damage.

"Quèxia!" Quèxia roared as a beam of sequins came out of her mouth, aimed directly at Kyogre.

"Shit!" Kyogre screamed as the glittery bits sliced its eyes, "I can't see!"

"Now's our chance, Quèxia! Use Wood Hammer!" She did, and then Kyogre was all like, 'OK, you win,' and stuff, so it left, and we continued on surfing.

"You're the best Pokémon ever!" Golett said and winked at Lopunny. Lopunny pretended not to notice.

"I think Lopunny and Golett are having relationship issues," Divann observed.

"It's probably because she's an adult now and he's a child," Tulipia snarked. Golett started crying.

"Sorry your girlfriend isn't a pedophile!" We all teased and then suddenly Golett jumped into the ocean, leaving only a note behind.

The note read:

 _Dearest Lopunny,_

 _It saddens me that our relationship has ended the way it has; we started with so much passion—so much fervor. I knew we would be together forever. Then you changed. One day you were the carefree jumping little slut I fell in love with: Buneary. Then you became a larger, more rabbitty-looking Pokémon with longer ears and with more feminine features like what appeared to be boobs. I wasn't ready to give you what you were looking for: an evolved sex experience. For this I have decided to kill myself. I have dived into the ocean. This might not seem like a huge deal to you, but I am part Ground-type and as soon as the water hit my skin I died. So now as I sink to the bottom of the ocean I hope you realize that your love is gone forever._

 _Love always,_

 _Golett_

"Uh oh, someone's dramatic," I rolled my eyes.

"Oh god! Oh god!" Divann cried, "He's dead! And it's all your fault!" He pointed at Lopunny and started choking her, but she just punched him and he fell off, shivering on the floor.

"I'm sorry, dude, but stop being a pussy," Tulipia consoled, "Look, there's Trübludton over there! I'm sure there's a Pokémon there for you!"

"I guess you're right. I just miss Golett!" Divann sobbed. Him crying was so unattractive you wouldn't even believe it. Gross. Anyway, we approached the shores of Trübludton with the hopes of finding Divann a new Pokémon and of getting my 5th badge.


	19. Hang-Up at the Hydroelectric Plant!

"Land ho!" Tulipia screamed clichély. Rianna suddenly looked super offended.

"She wasn't calling you a hoe, Rianna. It's just a saying." I explained, but she didn't care. She hated Tulipia.

"It's not like it matters anyway," Divann expressed depressedly, "Nothing matters anymore."

"OMG, could you sound any more like a whiny whiner, please? You can't still be upset about Golett. It's been like a day," I comforted. He just looked away in silence, tears streaming down his face. Even Lopunny rolled her eyes at him, and she was the cause of it all.

We reached land and saw a big building by a river. It was big and metal and stuff and it said words on the front. The words were "Trübludton Regional Hydroelectric Plant."

"I wonder what it is?' Tulipia asked.

"I think it's some kind of factory…" Divann slurred. I forgot to mention he was a drunk now because of his depression.

"Holy Jesus, where did you two learn to read. It clearly says, 'Trübludton Regional Hydroelectric Plant.' It's literally right in front of you." I taught.

"Let's go, then! Maybe there's a cool Electric Pokémon for Divann!" Tulipia squealed.

There wasn't.

When we got there I immediately noticed something was wrong due to the fact I was really good at observing stuff and deducing what's happening. Once I was offered a job as a detective, but then they decided it wasn't a good idea since I would probably find out everything bad that my coworkers had done, too.

Anyway, the first thing I noticed was wrong was the fact that there were dead Rotom everywhere. Not gross boring Electric/Ghost Rotoms either. I'm talking the full-on washing machine Electric/Water Rotoms. They must've been the ones harvesting the power before they died.

"Ugh, it smells like dead bodies in here!" Tulipia squeaked.

"Duh," I said.

We did some more exploring and found a dark room. We turned on the light, and toward the back of the room was a scientist-looking dude who was wearing a science coat and had greasy hair and hipster glasses. He was like a real-world 5/10, but definitely nerd-world 9/10. Also, he was tied up and gagged, mumbling something that sounded like, "Watch out," but whatever.

"What's he saying?" Tulipia asked, "Is he in trouble?"

"Yes, but he's not the only one," a stupid voice behind us said.

"I agree! Your time's up, Tulipia!" another said.

"Team Police!" I shouted since I had already figured out who it was. The scientist kept squirming, crying louder and louder.

"Man, he is annoying," Missy joked, "but he was just bait. We don't need him anymore." And with a push of a button the scientist exploded, blood and stuff everywhere.

"Eww, gross, cool," I said and giggled. It was pretty brutal. "But you won't get away with this!"

"Sure we will! We've got new Pokémon!" Jay said, "Go Lanturn!"

Missy continued, "Go Bruxish!"

"Oh no, they look strong!" Divann worried, but he was wrong. As soon as they came out of their Poké Balls they flopped on the floor, gasping for air.

"Drat!" Missy frustrated, "They're useless out of water!"

"Ha, you guys are stupid as shit," I said cleverly.

"Why did you kill all those Rotom?" Tulipia cried, "What does all that have to do with me?"

"Wow, arrogant much? It's not always about you, murderer," Jay explained, "These Rotom were all producing electricity for this plant without being properly compensated. The whole operation was illegal, actually, so they all had to die."

Rianna jumped up, earrings flashing, and performed a Triple Angel Halo Beam Blast attack that sent Missy, Jay, and Shroomish blasting off again. I forgot to mention Shroomish was there earlier\ but he didn't really say anything, so it's not a big deal.

"Hey, what's that?" Divann queried and pointed to a crumbled piece of paper in the corner.

"It's some kind of map!" I screamed loudly.

"Hmm, it looks like directions to Team Police's headquarters. I wonder if they're planning something big." Tulipia asked foreshadowingly.

"I guess we'll find out soon, but let's get to Trübludton and get me a badge!" I screamed as loudly as I could.

"And find another Pokémon for me!" Divann said. I couldn't believe he was trying to have the last word. Could not believe it.

"Ugh," I said also foreshadowingly.


	20. Hoppip the Talking Hoppip!

After the events at the hydroelectric plant (which turned out to be completely inconsequential to the plot), we made our way toward Trübludton. Some of you might be wondering why there is an umlaut above the first u in Trübludton, but that means you're stupid because that's not an umlaut. It's the bite of a vampire like in the show True Blood, which everyone likes because it has sexy vampires in it as well as Anna Paquin, who was also in X-Men and looks kinda like Juliette Lewis but not as crazy. Did you know Juliette Lewis is a Scientologist? Crazy.

Anyway we had almost gotten to town when suddenly I heard an annoying scream coming from the mouth of Divann. It wasn't just a scream, either: it was words too. The words were as follows: "Could we please go check out that patch of tall grass over there so I can get a new Pokémon?"

"Jesus God could you be any more annoying?" Lopunny quipped. We all laughed. After noticing Divann was about to start crying again, though, we consented.

The grass turned out to be far less tall than we had envisioned, and we could clearly see every Pokémon waiting to attack us. It was embarrassing for them, really.

"Well, are there any you like?" I asked detectively.

"Hmmm," Divann answered concretely. I watched as he gazed around the field, carefully inspecting each Raticate, Fearow, Roselia, and Golbat (which was only out in the open due to it being Trübludton's regional mascot). He sighed sexily, but I could tell something was wrong.

"Is something wrong?" Tulipia asked. I was way ahead of her.

"Sigh," Divann sighed again. This time I was sure something was the matter.

"What's the matter?" I asked, although I knew it was because all the Pokémon here sucked.

"All the Pokémon here suck," Divann seethed.

"What about me?" Some voice said from the middle of the field. We were all like, 'What?' but then suddenly a Hoppip sprang out from the growth.

"Did you say that?" Divann asked.

"Yes," Hoppip said and then did some things like fly around and spread seeds and stuff.

"Hoppips usually suck, but since you talk I guess I will settle for you," Divann acquiesced.

"TEEHEE! You have to catch me first!" Hoppip joked super-annoyingly. Divann just rolled his eyes and threw a Poké Ball without even weakening it since its catch rate is like a bajillion.

"What how did you catch me?" Hoppip said as it was going into the Poké Ball. But then she popped out because it's too confusing to keep having Pokémon go in and out of Poké Balls all the time. It's easier for them just to be there in case I want one of them to say something, you know?

"I pretty much hate this Pokémon, guys," Divann whined, "It's literally only cool because it can talk."

"I can also hear," Hoppip snarked, but no one cared.

"I guess it'll do until we find something better. Then I'll just leave it somewhere," Divann decided.

"Good idea!" Tulipia agreed.

As we finally headed through the Trübludton gates we couldn't stop giggling—except for one person. Or should I say… Pokémon?

(It was Hoppip.)


	21. Tilly and Buneary

**Three Weeks Earlier**

Suddenly, I was awake. That's my favorite quote from the hit US television series The Office. It's a pretty obscure one, but it always makes me laugh. Anyway, my name is Tilly, and this is how I met the boy who would destroy our world.

I woke up in the woods near Newshrub Town. I couldn't remember how long I had been running, but I knew it was too soon to stop. My partner Buneary looked just as weary as I felt: matted patches of mud, blood, and tears framed its sunken face. I patted its head and forced a smile—it reciprocated, but neither of us were very convincing. The screeching sound of an off-pitch drag queen singing Rihanna's hit single 'We Found Love' startled Buneary, and it ran away before I could stop it.

I started after it, but by the time I finally had caught up, I saw my poor friend lying on the ground, injured.

"What did you do to Buneary!" I screamed as I looked up at the perpetrator. He was a boy—obviously gay—and probably about my age. He had so much glitter smeared across his face that it looked like a unicorn had blown its load all over him. He had a Pokémon I had never seen before. Its beauty captivated me, and for a moment my anger subsided. It was so familiar in some way, but I couldn't place it.

"Oh em gee, was that your Buneary? I'm sorry—it attacked us!" he lied badly.

"It's okay," I lied in return. I was so intrigued by his Pokémon that I was willing to overlook his aggression. "She ran away, and sometimes she gets nervous and attacks. My name is Tilly."

"That's such a pretty name! Tulipia? Am I saying that right? Sorry, you look foreign," he said insensitively. I rolled my eyes and let that one go, too. He told me all about his Pokémon Rianna, who turned out to be an Angel type. A sense of familiarity came over me again, but once more I was unable to place it. My mind began to tighten as though caught in a net, and a voice in my head laughed deeply. I winced it pain.

"Sorry if I'm boring you, gurl!" he said in that annoying shrill voice.

"Well, I can't sit here and laugh forever," I said sarcastically, although he didn't seem to catch that.

"Why, girl," he said with a wink, obviously trying to sound sassy because thought that would endear him to me. It didn't.

"I'm on the run," I decided to confide. Something about Rianna compelled me to stick around, so I knew I'd have to play nice with Xylark.

"What?" he asked. I definitely questioned his intelligence, so I couldn't be sure if he was just trying to sound shocked or if he genuinely didn't comprehend what I had said. I decided to assume the latter and repeat myself.

"I said I was on the run."

He rolled his eyes, looking me up and down, and sneered, "From the police?"

"That's racist," I said, but stopped myself from going further. "But yes, from the police. I didn't do anything, though. I was framed!"

What I said wasn't necessarily true, but it wasn't untrue. I wasn't sure if I had been framed because I couldn't remember exactly what happened. All I knew was that Missy and Jay's son was gone and they thought I had killed him.

"Why are they after you?" he aksed.

I sat in silence. I couldn't even picture their son's face anymore. I could just remember a scream, a giant orb of light flashing in the air, and then nothingness. Again, the mental net tightened as I tried to hide the pain from Xylark.

"Whatever, then, bitch," he said, walking away. He was such an asshole.

"Wait!" I yelled. I could kick his ass later. "Let's go together. I'd feel much safer with a companion."

He smiled and flexed, saying, "You're right. I _am_ strong."

I didn't know what he was referring to, but I just brushed it off.

"And I've always wanted a token ambiguously ethnic friend!" he said in response again to nothing. The subtle racism aside, I was beginning to worry about his stability. Maybe a distraction would keep him coherent.

"Well, if we're going to be trainers, we should at least get badges," I said with a forced smile.

"I know," he replied.

"The first badge is in the next town. The leader's name is Bert. He uses Fire types, so his gym tends to get pretty hot." I explained.

He blushed for some reason and said, "OK, but let's go practice battling in the forest first. I'm sure there will be lots of trainers there."

"All right. Let's go!" I said with feigned enthusiasm. He ran off like a total weirdo, and I followed cautiously behind. What could be going on in this guy's head?


End file.
